i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize