dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
