i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
