You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You don't make any sense
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