i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
