the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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