Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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