ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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