i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Randomize
