don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
