Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
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It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
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