ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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