Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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