I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
