3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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