Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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