So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize