Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
