I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize