This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
