Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
