we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Ladies don't puke and tell
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
