It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Randomize
