Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
