she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
