The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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