@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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