bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm like, not good at living.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
