I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
