So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
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