Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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