There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
