woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
where are you?
Hypothermia
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
