okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
home. puking in laundry basket.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
