I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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