I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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