Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize