The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
