I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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