I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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