So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Michael Bay diarrhea
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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