She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
