i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
