in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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