i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
