I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
