Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
We had sex on a dog bed..
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
