ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize