He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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