i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
