Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
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