I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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