My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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