Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
