exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
