halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
