Whatcha textin bout Willis?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
