One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
