Too much gin, very little bucket
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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