i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
